Are you aging unnecessarily? Answer these questions and find out:

• Do you see gray hair as loss of youth, as opposed to loss of pigment?
  
• Do you describe how you feel as "young" or "old," rather than "energetic" or "tired"?
  
• Do you see an "age spot" on your hand or face where you once saw a "freckle?"

If you answered "yes," take warning! You are aging unnecessarily. The culprit here isn't passing years. It is thoughts that arise from deeply engrained concepts of "age" and "aging."

Our age concept is a set of beliefs and expectations that dictate our thoughts and actions. In a sense, we run an "age program" the way computers run software programs. More than half of what we experience as aging is due to this concept. Let me explain the problem, then the solution.

'Gradual deterioration'

I once heard a 60-year-old man describe his life as "gradual deterioration." That was two decades ago. For 20 years, he has run a "gradual deterioration" program. That program is his concept of age.

Our concepts determine what we think and do and even what we see and feel. To understand how this works, consider another concept: "I need to lose weight" is the concept dominant in anorexia. This concept defines reality for the anorexic person. Where others see thin and emaciated, she sees a body that needs to lose weight. The concept (not reality) is in charge here. In the same way, "age" has us under its spell.

The age concept sets us up for gradual deterioration. It determines our thoughts and actions and even what we see in the mirror ("aging" in silver hair, "age spots" in freckles). The concept exerts control unknowingly and automatically, deciding even sensations we feel. Aches and pains taken in stride at 18 prompt us now to think "Just as I thought, old age!" Doctors tell us no one dies of old age. Our concept, however, dictates what's real, and we see otherwise.

Some dentists suggest duller yellow teeth for elderly denture patients. Under the spell of the concept, we accept the teeth. The aging program tells us what to do. It tells us, "Act your age," and we obey—with grave consequences.

Not long ago, a finding that people in their 90s can build muscle made front-page news. Why did the finding surprise us? Because it violates our concept of aging, which includes expectations of irreversible loss in muscle mass, bone density, lung capacity, balance, and flexibility. Obedient to the concept, we "act our age," staying sedentary, deteriorating according to plan.

Inactivity precipitates decline, but no matter how limiting and self-destructive, we conform and age to the letter. We succumb more to the concept than to age itself, even though the concept is mistaken.

The error in "aging"

Gradual deterioration is a concept that creates its own reality. Ancient wisdom offers a more realistic view. It maintains that disuse, not age, is the cause of deterioration. In this view, "That which is used thrives. That which is not used wastes away."

This more enlightened view sets up more positive expectations. If we attribute muscle loss to disuse instead of age, the news about building muscle at 90 isn't news at all. "Gradual deterioration" becomes a matter of "letting yourself go"—something you need not necessarily do. You might substitute exercise workouts for sitting helplessly, acting your age.

Just knowing that a concept is wrong doesn't free us from its grip. We can't expect to "snap out" of aging any more than a person with anorexia can snap out of the compulsion to lose weight. Getting free of age takes something more. It requires awareness—and more awareness than we're used to.

How awareness frees you from 'aging'

Spiritual teacher Ram Dass helped an elderly Quaker woman who had been terminally ill for a long while. She told him she wasn't afraid to die but was bothered by the boredom of slowly dying. He suggested, "Couldn't you die, say, 20 minutes per hour?"

With these words, she saw through the concept in which she was stuck. In reality, she was living. All the "dying" she'd experienced was an invention of the thinking mind. Getting free of the concept was like waking from delusion, coming out from under its spell.

In anorexia, aging, and dying, we see problems caused by the thinking mind in the absence of awareness. Awareness—simple, mindful contact with reality—sets us free. Then thoughts and actions emerge, not from pre-set beliefs and expectations but from awareness itself.

How do we build awareness? The trusted tool is meditation.

Meditation and liberation from age

Meditation quiets thinking; then concepts lose their grip. Present-moment awareness replaces toxic thoughts such as "I am old." A burden lifts from shoulders bent by auto-suggestions of aging.

The more you quiet your thinking, the more awareness is restored. With enough awareness, you clear your slate completely. Tibetan Buddhist tradition expresses what happens then. Coming to awareness "is like taking a hood off your head. What boundless spaciousness and relief! This is seeing what was not seen before. … everything opens, expands, and becomes crisp, clear, brimming with life. All limitations dissolve and fall away."

Go deep enough into awareness and you'll be free of age limitations. You'll discover that your essence is timeless, ageless, and eternal. Then, for you, even death holds no threat.

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