Child abuse is a worldwide problem affecting children from birth to 18 years of age. The most recent U.S. data are from 2008, during which 3.3 million reports of abuse and neglect were filed concerning 6 million children. Of these referrals, 62.5 percent were investigated; of the investigations, 23.7 percent were substantiated or indicated child maltreatment. In Kansas, 56,207 reports of suspected abuse were filed from July 2008 to June 2009.

Those of us who are parenting our grandchildren must understand that many of our grandchildren were abused before they came to us. The emotional damage that commonly accompanies child abuse or neglect may be vented through self-destructive actions such as substance abuse, prostitution, suicide, or criminal acts against others. Therefore, we need to know how to care for an abused child:

• The child must be kept safe; this is paramount.
  
• Counseling for the child and family must begin as soon as possible.
  
• In the event of neglect, establishing realistic expectations of the child's needs and capabilities is required.
  
• High-risk behaviors such as substance abuse must be addressed.
  
• We must prepare our grandchild for some things that may follow the abuse, such as interviews with law enforcement officials or attorneys.
  
• We must talk to our grandchild and let him know that what happened was not his fault!

Most child abusers are parents, step-parents, or other relatives. We grandparents who are parenting our grandchildren must guard against abuse of our grandkids. We must protect them against abuse and neglect by anyone, including ourselves.

Mornings can be hectic with little ones, as can almost any time of the day. We must have a definite plan to prevent losing self-control and hurting our own grandchildren. The following guidelines can be carried in your pocket and taken out the moment you feel stressed or angry with a grandchild. Refer to them often:

• Take a deep breath. Take a few more. Remember, you are the adult.
  
• Think about how you feel when someone talks down to you.
  
• Press your lips together and count to 20.
  
• Put the child in time out for one minute for each year of her age.
  
• Put yourself in time out. Think about why you're angry.
  
• Call a trusted friend or family member.
  
• If someone can watch the child, go for a walk.
  
• Take a warm bath or splash cold water on your face.
  
• Turn on some music or sing and ask the child to sing along with you.
  
• Write a list of words that will help, not words that will hurt, and use them.

We must also teach our grandchildren how to protect themselves. They need to know that it is never OK for anyone, including their parents, to hit them or leave them by themselves.

Even though they may not understand, we need to tell them that nobody should force them to do anything that doesn't feel right. Teach them about "good touch" and "bad touch."

Explain that they needn't be afraid to ask for help from you or another adult. And tell them not to believe anyone who says that something bad will happen if they report a concern.
We must also report suspected child abuse or neglect.

By making children a priority, encouraging the reporting of child abuse and neglect, and raising awareness of prevention efforts, we can help our next generation be productive adults capable of rearing their children in a caring and nurturing way.