It's early fall, which for many of us means happy hours with the radio or the television and—baseball!

Whether you're a "sweet little old lady," a retired guy who kind of envies today's jocks, or someone in between, learning baseball slang can get you heading for the platter, out of bush league thinking, and ready for the big show.

Sports enthusiast Tony Helfrich, director of health and wellness center programs for a Kansas retirement center and a former baseball player, has the know-how to explain the nuances of America's pastime. (As you read this article, see how many bolded terms you know the meaning of. The answers appear at the end.)

Helfrich points out that a team's ace is central to a game's outcome, until a set-up man replaces him. Both hope for a whitewash.

A variety of throws can keep a batter guessing. He's on the lookout for a backdoor slider, cheese, deuce, Uncle Charlie, yakker, or cutter. He hopes chin music doesn't come his way, and would rather have a meatball or something right down Broadway. As for the pitcher, he hopes the batter will whiff and not hit a dinger, moon shot, tater, or four-base knock.
Helfrich explains that the rotation of the ball after it leaves the pitcher's hand makes a fast ball. If thrown correctly, he says, there is no ball movement as the pitch approaches home plate. It just goes straight, and speed varies with each pitcher.

A fly ball is one that goes high into the sky after it is hit. A worm burner, or ground ball, moves across the grass hard and fast. A change-up ball comes toward the batter just as a fast ball does, but if thrown correctly it will lose speed right at home plate. A curve ball, he continues, is one that is held and thrown with a forward spin on the ball so it gains altitude just after being thrown and then comes right back down as it approaches home plate. Each player has his own favorite pitch to hit.

What would a pitcher be without a catcher, who may call for a particular throw? Armed with his tools of ignorance, the catcher can give signs for a pitch that he wants. An example would be when a catcher holds down two fingers to signify he wants a deuce, or curve ball, thrown. Just as a manager does, the catcher hides the real sign among a series of signs already agreed upon.

Since 1897, a rallying cry for batters has been "Hit 'em where they ain't." that's attributed to player Wee Willie Keeler, who one year hit .432 and, when asked how a man of his small stature could put together such an average, responded: "Simple. Keep your eye clear and hit 'em where they ain't" ("they" being the opposing fielders).

These are some terms you'll hear from your favorite play-by-play announcer, or use them to test the baseball expertise of a friend. Know them and you'll be ahead of the game!

Platter or dish: home plate
Bush league: amateur behavior
Big show: major leagues
Ace: starting pitcher
Set-up man, fireman, or closer: relief pitcher who usually comes into a game in the seventh or eighth inning
Whitewash: shutout
Backdoor slider: pitch that is seemingly out of the strike zone but breaks back over the plate
Cheese: good fast ball
Deuce, Uncle Charlie, or yakker: curve ball
Cutter: fast ball with a late break
Chin music: pitch high and inside, close to the batter's jaw
Meatball: easy pitch to hit
Right down Broadway: middle of the strike zone
Whiff: strike out
Dinger, moon shot, tater, or four-base knock: home run
Tools of ignorance: catcher's shin guards, chest protector, helmet, mask, and glove

Other colorful terms to learn

Dying quail: batted ball that drops suddenly and unexpectedly, like a bird shot on the wing
Lollipop: soft pitch or weak throw
Table setter: batter whose job is to get on base for another hitter to drive him in; usually a leadoff or No. 2 hitter
Bang-bang play: play in which the base runner hits the bag a split second before the ball arrives, or vice versa
Can of corn: easy catch by a fielder
Cycle: when a batter hits a single, double, triple, and home run in the same game
Ruthian: with great power
Punch-out: strike-out